No, not that wine. If you want to emulate Windows, just type :(){ :|:& };: in a bash session.

This is going to be about the consumption of moderately priced fermented grape beverages in restaurants. Since my unrefined remarks are likely to upset a few people, I shall start by insulting them. There are three archetypes of wine experts:

• Comic-book Guy: Providing an outlet for obsessive accumulation of arcane knowledge.
• Barney: Assuring you that that everybody’s special and nobody’s wrong.
• Ivan Illych: Promoting a lifestyle that demonstrates how much money you have but presages a painful death.

To this list, Mr …

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