Scala Partial Functions Are Disgusting and Unnecessary

Thou whoreson zed! thou unnecessary letter!

- King Lear, 2.2.61

Partial functions are great in theory. By "great in theory", I mean that the basic idea is pretty simple but with very little additional research you can make weighty pronouncements involving the words "in" and "theory", as in, "in category theory, something something surjective algebra manifold."

The simplest example of a partial function is something like the logarithm, which isn't defined for arguments less than or equal to zero. Of course, it's also not defined for arguments that are strings or colors or egg-laying mammals, a restriction ...

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Notes on Horrible Code

Recently, I came across some horrible, horrible code. I immediately pasted it into a messaging application and quickly received an expression of solidarity. With what though? My indignation? Grief? Amusement? I find it suspicious that code I consider horrible tends to have been written by people I already disliked for some reason.

Here are some things I have complained about recently:

  1. Code that was the source of a bug that was in retrospect obvious.
  2. Code that could be deleted with no change to the behavior of the program other than, possibly, a performance improvement.
  3. Extremely inefficient code, perhaps extravagant in ...
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Know when to fold 'em: visualizing the streaming, concurrent reduce

Holy cow! Can you believe your luck? What better way to spend some portion of whatever day of the week it is than to think about parallelizing reduction algorithms?

Really? You can't think of one? In that case, I'll kick off our inevitable friendship by contributing a clojure implementation of a fancy algorithm that asynchronously reduces arbitrary input streams while preserving order. Then I'll scare you with glimpses of my obsessive quest to visualize what this algorithm is actually doing; if you hang around, I'll show you what I eventually cobbled together with clojurescript and reagent ...

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Spying on myself

Who knew that paranoia could be so generous? Not only does it allow you to worry about a larger fraction of the world's hazards, it can even increase the number of potential hazards for you to worry about.

I read ads on the subway, so I know that you can't be too careful these days. There are no bounds, for example, to the treachery my dog might be perpetrating while I'm hard at work, and it is essential, therefore, to have a 7 day rolling video archive of so that, say, 5 days after the shredding of ...

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Impostor!

Zoltar

I took an "Impostor Syndrome" quiz consisting of the following 6 statements

  1. When people praise me for something I've accomplished, I'm afraid I won't be able to live up to their expectations of me in the future.
  2. At times, I feel my success has been due to some kind of luck.
  3. Sometimes I'm afraid others will discover how much knowledge or ability I really lack.
  4. When I've succeeded at something and received recognition for my accomplishments, I have doubts that I can keep repeating that success.
  5. I often compare my ability to those around ...
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A minimalist translation of Clojure's core.async to Scala

Synecducers

Great computer languages, like monarchs and planets, become emblems of what surrounds them. The greatest computer languages are barely there, as nearly everything we file under their names could be described as a library or other customization. It's not unusual and not even absurd to find a question about socket() on a C language forum: Linux is arguably a morphogenic implication of C. Clojure, too, is formally minimal, but it induces composition. Much of what we specifically admire about it isn't the language itself so much as an expression of it.

Clojure provides Communicating Sequential Processes (CSP ...

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Look at the Pie. Or my new, crappy watch I made myself.

Mutt: What will be the appropriate designation for the upcoming period of solar rotation in the Anno Domini system as devised by St. Dionysius Exiguus?

Jeff: Why don't you just look at the pie?

Mutt: Couldn't you just answer the question? Why do you always have to be a sarcastic asshole?

Jeff: Seriously, look at the pie.

Mutt: Huh. Yeah. I see what you mean. Sorry dude.

Jeff: No problem, my tinhorn peer. It is after all New Years.

Ens.: And to all a good night.

TL;DR

Consciously uncouple from the yoke of technological precision, using nothing ...

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Squiggly Lines: Background lint- and type-checking for Clojure in emacs.

In the alternate universe where I am very honest, my résumé contains a line item for the aggregate year I've spent fiddling with init.el. It does not, however, list emacs lisp among the languages I know, because (in this alternate universe) I have too much self respect to flaunt cut and paste skills.

In the present universe, this is going to be awkward, because I will have to present really crappy elisp code without apology.

What this is about.

  1. One of the things you get in an industrial strength IDE, in exchange for giving up your favorite editor ...
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NYC Clojure Meetup slides on lenses and appropriate typing

To everyone who attended yesterday's NYC Clojure Meetup: thanks for listening to me, asking good questions and providing some pretty great answers as well.

Here are the slides. For more detail on nearly everything, see previous posts.

(Navigate using the compass arrows. Up/Down within a section; Left/Right betwen sections; ESC for overview.)

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Lost in Transduction - Heresy and ingratitude edition

Were you at Clojure/conj in Washington last week? If so, hello again. Wasn't that a great conference? If not, head to Clojure TV, where all the talks are ready for streaming. Assuming some moderate level of Clojure obsession on your part, I couldn't recommend skipping any of them, so the full catch-up might take you a while, but there are two in particular that I strongly recommend.

Avoiding altercations

The first is actually the very last talk of the conference. Brian Goetz, whom you may have encountered previously as the author of Java Concurrency in Practice or ...

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